VoicePost 247K 1:16

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VoicePost 234K 1:14

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At 630 Pete crawled out of bed and finished packing. He took a shower and got dressed moving slower than needed. The closer he got to actually getting on the plane, alone, the more anxious he got. Going to his brother’s room Pete walked in without warning and woke him up.
“Can you drive me to the airport?” Pete asked sweetly. Andrew sighed climbing out of bed. Not having a license is pretty much the shits.
“Be glad you’ve always been my favorite” He pointed out pulling on shoes and a jacket.
“I love you Andy” Pete said smiling at his brother. He went back to his room taking his bag and meeting Andrew at the car.
“Are you gonna be ok?” Andrew asked standing with Pete in the security line. The older boy had asked him to not leave him alone. Pete nodded a large lump in his throat. “I’ve gotta get home so have a safe trip and call when you get there ok?”
“Thanks Andrew” Pete said giving his brother a hug. He went through the security and made it to the gate where he sat down feeling rather fidgety. Trying to think about seeing Patrick and not about having to get on a plane, alone he was freaking out. More than he thought. Puling out his sidekick Pete called Joe.
“Hey, you ok?” Joe answered the phone sounding concerned.
“Yeah, I’m fine. About to fly out there, stopping in San Francisco with Patrick.” Pete replied playing with the zipper of his jacket.
“Sweet. See you in a day or two then” Joe said before hanging up. Pete sighed putting his phone away. He wanted to be anywhere but in a fucking airport. He especially didn’t want to have to deal with everyone knowing he was Pete Wentz. Glancing around he spotted a pretty girl reading.
“Hi there” Pete said taking a seat next to her. The brunette looked up from her book with a bit of an annoyed look. “Did I interrupt you?”
“Just a little” She said setting aside the novel. “You look familiar”
“Really?” Pete asked trying not to scoff. He diverted his eyes and thought maybe looks can be deceiving.
“Didn’t your sister used to work at the record store over by 57th” She asked. Pete smiled.
“Yeah she did” He replied. “I’m Pete”
“Laura” She said smiling.
They talked until it was time to board the plane and then Pete asked her to keep him company. He felt like some creepy guy trying to pick her up, but he really wasn’t. Planes and Pete just don’t mesh well. Laura just smiled and said she would find him. Taking his seat Pete felt much better knowing he would at least have someone to talk to. They were about to take off when Laura quickly slid into the seat next to him smiling.
“I h-hate planes” Pete said with his eyes squeezed closed as they leveled out at however many thousand feet above ground. Laura tried not to laugh.
“It’s ok, my boyfriend is the same way.” She replied digging in her purse and retrieving a stress ball. “I promise it’s better than clawing at the armrest”
“Thanks” Pete said taking the small foam ball from her. “so, where’s this boyfriend of yours?”
“In LA, but he’s meeting me in San Francisco. We’re going to see my parents for the holidays.” Laura replied a gleam in her eye. Pete smiled thinking of Patrick and how much he probably would glow if he started talking about the boy.
The flight flew by, no pun intended, and Pete was hugging Laura good bye at the gate rather sad that he would probably never see the girl again. Now excited he pulled out his sidekick and called Patrick.
“Hey got any more penis you want to show us?” Some random guy said as he passed.
“Fuck you!” Pete called after him.
“Hey” Patrick answered out of breath.
“I just got fucking…why are you breathing so heavy?” Pete asked not only anxiety ridden from his plane ride but now thoroughly pissed off.
“I’m not breathing any different” Patrick said trying to sound convincing.
“Yes you are” Pete said in an argumentive mood.
“I’m really not” Patrick defended.
“Yes you fucking are!” Pete near yelled into the phone.
“Who are you yelling at?”
“Who the fuck is that?” Pete snapped hearing the faint voice in the background.
“No one, what is wrong with you?” Patrick said getting aggravated.
“I’m in San Francisco and some dude was being a fucking douche and you’re acting all weird.” Pete said infuriated he was sure everyone was giving him odd looks for making such a scene but he really didn’t care.
“I’m not acting weird” Patrick said slowly trying to stay as calm as possible.
“Yes you are. You’re breathing heavy and you’re with someone and you won’t tell me who the fuck it is” Pete countered raising his voice again.
“I’m with Ryan ok?” Patrick snapped and Pete hung up the phone. What the fuck was he doing with Ryan? He was supposed to be here in fucking San Francisco. He fucking lied so he could go see that whore? This was a giant mistake.


"Maybe you should but a little more vibrato on that last line" The producer said to Patrick who glanced at Pete for approval, after all they were HIS words. Pete merely diverted his eyes.
“Pete, you have to talk to me eventually” Patrick pointed out frustrated by the older boy’s vow of silence.
“No I don’t” Pete replied shaking his head.
“We’re writing songs Pete, it’s a COOPERATIVE thing” Patrick pointed out pulling the bassist closer to say in his ear “Besides you’re just assuming things about me and Ryan”
“You fucking lied to me!” Pete said pulling his arm from Patrick’s grasp not wanting to be touched by the boy.
“I went to San Francisco, Ryan called me because he didn’t want to BURY HIS FATHER alone, ok?” Patrick began his stream of lies.
“Why were you breathing so heavy on the phone then?” Pete asked having had nothing on his mind but the fact that Patrick was sleeping with Ryan.
“We were chasing his dog” Patrick was lying badly now and he knew it wouldn’t go over smoothly with Pete.
“Since when does he have a dog?” Pete asked disbelievingly.
“He got one a few days ago” Patrick said sitting on his amp.
“Why the fuck didn’t you say that on the phone?!” Pete asked even angrier than before.
“You wouldn’t let me you were too busy assuming that I was fucking Ryan!” Patrick pointed out jumping right back up.
“You were denying it Patrick! And you couldn’t have acted more suspicious” Pete shouted.
“I DIDN’T SLEEP WITH RYAN!” Patrick yelled back. They were full out screaming at each other and in front of not only Andy and Joe but fucking JAY-Z and BABYFACE. All of which just stood stunned.
“Did You kiss him?” Pete asked trying to not be accusing but his tone shot that to hell.
“I went to his father’s FUNERAL Pete, how fucking insensitive do you think I am?” Patrick replied wanting to throw something at the stubborn boy.
“Well I know Ryan and he would want consolation in more than a friendly way” Pete pointed out as Patrick sighed out of frustration. “You aren’t even being convincing Patrick”
“GO TO HELL! Why won’t you fucking believe me? I didn’t sleep with the kid, I didn’t lie to you UGH I’m done!” Patrick shouted storming out of the room.



Sitting in the studio Andy was rambling to Joe about some comic store that he had seen. Jay-z was talking to babyface about some compilation he wanted to do. Pete had yet to show up, so Patrick sat there tuning his guitar even though it was perfectly in tune it was something to distract him. Especially because he was twitching subtlely, fucking cocaine what did he get himself into?
“Sorry I was late” Pete said coming into the room Candace on his arm. Patrick tried not to make a face. Why was he with a girl? Why the fuck was he so upset with Patrick if he was doing the exact same thing?
“Ok, let’s get to work” Jay-z said clapping his hands together excitedly. They got a rough song recorded and were sitting around in an awkward silence Pete sitting on Candace’s lap. Patrick felt like he was doing this on purpose.
“So…are you not talking to me still?” Patrick asked Pete from across the room.
“I don’t know are you going to yell at me again?” Pete asked casually.
“If you deserve it” Patrick said just as simply.
“I don’t see how I deserve anything, you’re the one that cheated on me”
“Like you haven’t cheated on me? You’re fucking sitting on someone else!” Patrick snapped, and it seemed like this record was going nowhere fast.
“Yeah, because you fucking slept with Ryan, I’m pretty sure we’re over.” Pete said and that was more of a jab to the heart than Patrick thought it would be.
“So YOU can sleep with other people, but as soon as you think I’m touching anyone else it’s over? What kind of bullshit is that?” Patrick pointed out.
“Did you ever think maybe I slept with other people for a reason?”
“So I’m not fucking GOOD ENOUGH for Pete Wentz?!”
“Maybe you’re not!”
Patrick wanted to hit him, a lot, and really hard. He wanted to get something productive done more than, and more than that he wanted some fucking drugs. The two didn’t so much as look at each other after that, which meant communicating through Andy and Joe. As soon as they were done with the vocals Patrick was gone.



Angsty angsty fights XD

VoicePost 154K 0:47

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VoicePost 815K 4:07

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being sick
And not knowing my friends.
And being useless
and worthless

I didn't know mechelle was that fucked up. I didn't know andy was that far gone. I didn't know Candace was that insecure.

I don't KNOW my friends, and they are the closest things to me.
I'm a bad person.

I spent all day at home
Sleeping or watching tv
Or searching my mind for ideas to write down
Words to come to me

Some things just don't coexist in my mind.
I wish I could see through your facades
But I am not so creative
I'm not so observant
I don't try too hard to see past the fake yous
I like them just fine
But I want to help

I want to be worth something
I want to be useful
I want to change you
and him
and her
and the world

I want things to be different
to be beautiful

I want my distractions back
I should be like a normal person but I'm not

I've becom an opne book
literally
I hand people my emotions on pages

But my feelings are in metaphors and pronouns
So maybe you only get a jist of what is going on
I always thought my journals were more insightful
Yet they always leave you with questions

Stop worrying about me
You're only trying to hide from your own problems.

I wish people were more honest with me
I wish people woudl return the favors
and the feelings
and the comforts

I wish I knew my friends.
I wish I had the magic words
and touch
and voice
to make everything alright

I can't even tell when something is wrong.
I love you mr.livejournal

The real update I promised.

Listening to Motion Ciy Soundtrack trying to stay awake.

Usually Justin Pierre is too high pitched for me, but a headache might be nice right now.

Have to stay up for Jay Leno and Fall Out Boy

I'm totally trashed right now, and I don't know why.

A tired like crazy and depressed out of my mind kinda trashed.

Sam transfered schools.

I've no more reason to get up in the morning and drag myself to school.

He wrote "you really were my best friend, love always" in my planner.

I saw it and cried all through Take This to Your Grave.

Social suicide:

Well, I'm the worst liar that I know.

So many things have happned this week.

I just really want to have somethign to look forward to.

December 14, Fall Out Boy.

Revenge for Mechelle on Dirty.

Who's, apparent, phone number I have.

Not like I'd call anyone this delusional....

I think I'm gonna cry again.

No time to really update,and nothing to really talk about except my crumbling social life.

Figures, the stereotype isn't so far off.

Emo kids suck.

Gotta buy my FOB ticket before they sell out, gotta remeber to watch them on the Tonight Show, have to try and be happy they are nominated for a Grammy. Even though they won't win.

*sigh* Can't wait to dance myself to life again.

Real update later.

Yep, I named my new puppy after the drummer of Fall Out Boy.

He is so adorable though, actually reminds me of Andy.

Also, he reminds me of Pete because he has these big hazel eyes and he can be a total jackass soometimes (the dog).

He's falling asleep on my lap right now and 'Start Today' is in the background so how he can manage that I'll never know.

Everyone else is out at some stupid hockey game.

I officially have an excuse to break up with Jordan.

I <3 you Marie.
She's officially back on my friends list.

Mostly because I'm not in a 'laying on the rug in your parents front hall at 4 am after you realize you aren't really friends with your friends anymore' kinda mood.  

The Hollister Video was worth staynig up till 2 in the morning for.
Funny shit.

Girl:"You have no idea, I'm gonna marry them"
camera guy:"Which one?"
girl:"All of them"
girl's friend:"Jason! Was there a Jason?"
both girls:"JASON!"

Haha, People are so stupid.

 

So, here it is.

I finally got one of these things.
For no reason at all.

It's midnight, I'm waiting for the Hollister Video to download.
It has decided to take forever and a day.

I realized today that I'm not really freinds with my friends anymore....if that makes any sense.

I also realized my mother is more of a pessimiast than I am.

On top of that, I managed to convince myslef that the world's problems cant possibly be all my fault.

My video is going to take another hour.
Fuck this gay computer.

I guess I can downlaod it tomorrow while everyone else is at the hockey game.
Sports just aren't my thing.

Well, I guess I should go write some more, of this story thing...or go to bed.
I told Sam I'd be up at 8, although I doubt he will.
I <3 that boy.

One of the only people I'd still consider a friend.

He's just so screwed up though.
Smokes, pothead, alcoholic in the making.
The kid's only 14.

I probably shouldn't have typed that....

Let's see if I can type enough crap to pass the time it will take to finish my download.

I could tell you about Nintedo Fusion here in Portsmouth October 14.

I met Bredon Urie from Panic! at the Disco out by the merch tent.

Pete Wentz was creeping me out mouthing Xo and holding as much eye contact possible while running all over the place and playing bass. I'm half your age kid.

He waved too, and smiled alot.
I threw him a teddy bear, and he played with it in his pocket.
They were cute together.
Big Pete and Little Pete(the bear).
I <3 that kid.

37% and an estimated time of  52 minutes left.

*sigh* Let's see.

I've met Underoath before.

At this kickass record store called Volume over by Lynnahven mall.

The guy that owns it, Adam the Vegan as we call him.
Awesome guy.
Really nice and funny.
He has these two adorable dogs too...

Anyway, I got to see Adam freak out that day.
It was funny, cause I was trying to get him to talk to me so he'd stand still and stop buzzing around knocking things over.
A lot of kids showed up.

Yeah, I had Underoath sign my shoe.
Black Chuck Taylors.
So, I had a silver sharpie,nan in my awestruck moment let Tim steal the cap.

So, we had to go back ot get my marker cap.
That time I made Tim give me a hug for losing it.
So James was sitting next to him and he just stood up so I gave him a hug.
Aaron didn't want to talk to me, but I still made him stand up so I could say "I touched Aaron Gillespie"
Yeah, Spencer was drawing all over the table so he had no problem gving me a hug.
Then Chris didn't want to give me a hug at all.

Me:  Do you feel left out, would you like a hug?
Chris:  What? No...I mean if you want one...
Me:  Yeah, I want one
Me and my friend Mechelle gave him a group hug so he said "Wow I feel special".

Chris made me laugh.
I <3 that kid.

Haha, 50% complete and and estimated 41 minutes left.

Well, I've gotta think for a second if I've anything else to ramble on about....

Guess I could talk about my so called "friends".

Actually I only really have a few people I consider friends.
I just call everyone esle my friends because I know them personally.

Just like I call everyone kid,and sometimes they're twice my age.

Yeah so my friends lets' see:

Mechelle- my concert buddy

Kya- my best friend

Sam- my boyfriend <3
(don't ask how that works it just does.)
Sarah- my girlfriend <3

Seth- my fatass Haha

That's pretty much it...wow only 5 people...technically two of them don't count.

Dang, I'm seriously not friends wiht my friends anymore.
That still doens't make sense does it?

60% complete...can't stop now almost there.

I'm tired of rambling over nothing at all....

So I guess I'l come back in here 28 minutes form now and make sure the downaload finishes.

If I don't pass out, it's already 1...and I started this post at 12:05.

I feel like I have no life......